Funny Quotes That Will Make You Pee

junho 17, 2022 Postar um comentário

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Quotes tagged as "pee" Showing 1-19 of 19

"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.
How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"
― John Green, Paper Towns

"I had to stop him from arresting an old lady who let her dog urinate against the fire hydrant that was in front of Burgerville headquarters.
"You'll blow our cover."
"But what if there is a fire?"
"The fire department will come and put it out," I said.
"With what?"
"Water," I said.
"Not from that hydrant," Monk said. "It's inoperable."
"No, it's not," I said. "It can still be used."
"There is urine all over it," Monk said. "no fireman would dare touch it, nor would any other human being."
"Firefighters run into burning buildings," I said."They aren't going to care about some dog pee on a fire hydrant."
"They would if they knew," Monk said. "We should call and warn them. Call Joe right now. He can get the word out faster than we can."
"Every fire hydrant in the city has dog pee on it, Mr. Monk. It's how dogs mark their territory. I can guarantee you that every male dog that has passed that hydrant has pissed on it."
He looked at me, wide eyed, "No."
"It's what dogs do," I said. "The firefighters knows this."
Monk swallowed hard. "And they still use the hydrants?"
"Of course they do."
"They are the bravest men on earth," Monk said solemnly."
― Lee Goldberg, Mr. Monk in Outer Space

"I feel like I might start crying and that I'm going to cry pee."
― John Green, Paper Towns

"I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder."
― John Scalzi, Old Man's War

"This is the Speaker for the Dead? Judging someone by appearances?"
"Maybe I've fallen in love with Grego."
"You've always been a sucker for people who pee on you."
― Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead

"So planning something big."
"If this is the work of the Overtakers, we've never seen anything like it."
"It is," a voice said behind them. Maybeck slipped in alongside of them.
"You about scared the pee out of me!" Charlene complained."
― Ridley Pearson

"You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked."
― T.E. Sivec, A Beautiful Lie

"She got to her feet and tucked her fingers into her armpits to warm them, glaring at Briar and Parahan as she walked over to the mules. It wasn't fair that men didn't have to twist themselves into knots to pee!"
― Tamora Pierce, Battle Magic

"There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants."
― Tom Holt

"You can take a dog outside, but you can't make it pee"
― Micah Amyx

"Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!"
― Michael Bassey Johnson

"Just before we have sex, the question often is: To pee, or not to pee?"
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"I had definitely never heard of anyone peeing in a cup and leaving it in their own office on a bookshelf to evaporate and be absorbed back into their body through the pores on their face."
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

"When I entered, she sat up and focused on the bag in my hand. "The chick at the store said it works better in the morning, but it might work tonight. I bought a few extra tests, just in case. Do you need to pee?"
Lark stared at me then burst into laughter. "A few weeks into our relationship and we're talking about peeing. Awesome."
― Bijou Hunter, Damaged and the Cobra